Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood – 45

Maaaaaan, what a killer fight this is — just 40 seconds (yes, I counted :p) of high-octane badass. Some fights have been disappointed so far in the series, but Wrath always seems to step up to the plate when it is time to throw down.

As much as I am sure Wrath wanted to beat the crap out of Greed, he probably is at least a little relieved that Greed decided that he preferred to not get his ass kicked and instead ditched the fight. If Greed is killed, Amestris could cover up the existence of Homunculi easily enough, but Wrath’s waifu would probably badger him with questions. If I were her, I’d want to know what the hell ruined our living room, too. And, worse, if Greed somehow makes some headway in the fight and Pride has to get involved, well, their cover is really fucked, and at the very least the wifey must die.

Not a good situation for anyone involved. At least this way Wrath can pretend the military is making inquiries as to who the hell this crazy MFer who busted into his home was.

And one more piece of good comes from Greed gate crashing Wrath’s pad — an Ed/Greed team! Hooray! Ed and Greed need their own action flick franchise for sure. I can see them pulling off the buddy cop routine with relative ease. Greed can be the cocky badass who doesn’t play by the rules (every cop movie needs this guy, no exceptions), and Ed can be the straight man, the serious cop who is all about getting shit done and doling out a heaping helping of justice. I would watch the hell out of this in a theater, and so would you. Can’t tell me any differently.

See, Greed is already smiling at that idea! If he owns everything in the world, then he definitely will not balk at the chance to own the world of cinema. Greed and Ed would make some pretty kickass movies together until the inevitable feud about who receives top billing, the highest salary, the hottest celebrity chicks to date and so on. But things will work out for them — Ed’s destiny is in Hollywood, anyway, since there are so many short actors.

The brief scene with the Armstrong family is fun. The Armstrong patriarch has a hell of a beard. I mean, holy shit, look at that thing:

I hear that after his vacation, Father Armstrong is going to run for president of Reconstruction-era America. And he would win, too. Who would stand in his way? Ulysses S. Grant? Rutherford B. Hayes? James A. Garfield? Pish posh. Armstrong’s beard has beards, for God’s sake! From the look of it, I think it has its own hentai spin-off series too. There’s a potential presidential scandal right there. But I digress.

Olivier’s roundabout way of caring for people is amusing. She pretends to run roughshod over the Armstrong house and take over (and by “pretend” I mean “actually does it”) just so that her family will be out of the country when shit goes down. Also, she has probably been itching to kick Alex’s ass since she arrived at Central. Poor guy. Even his sweet boxing skills aren’t a match for toughness honed by Briggs. At least Alex can be content in the knowledge that, should the opportunity ever arise, he would make a pretty kickass white stand-in for Excel Saga‘s Pedro. That was a pretty big “NOOOOOOOOOO~!” he threw out!

The information network our heroes worked out is pretty convoluted — involving an intricate yet delicate mix of phone calls, puppy rubs and butt grabs — but seemingly effective. Helps to have a lot of good friends who are willing to help you out, and who also happen to not be under surveillance. They probably just go through all this trouble for really important messages, though; if I were Mustang, I would be pretty pissed off if everyone went through all that trouble, and the message was, like, “Ed wants a cheese sandwich” or something. The system must not be abused!

Can’t wait for Mustang to spring back into action, though. Seems as if all he has been doing for a while now is meet people, pass along/receive messages and glorying in espionage, which is fine of course, but we all know Mustang is a capable ass kicker and must soon get back to his ass kicking ways.

Also, May Chang sucks.

17 Responses to “Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood – 45”

  1. I tip my hat to your late-19th century presidents joke.

  2. Yeah may sucks, but I let her off because kids do stupid things.

  3. Damn, I wish Greed killed Wrath’s wife as collateral damage. Actually, I just wanna see that punk Selim go down.

    Aww May Chang, why are you so easily manipulated by a worm? I knew they should’ve killed him while they had the chance.

  4. Haha I’m actually posting here.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambrose_Burnside The Father of Sideburns is about the only human from that particular era who would even stand a chance against Father Armstrong, and his military record sucked, so that would have to count against poor Ambrose.

    On the subject of the Armstrongs, I just love how utterly damn casual everyone was about that duel. I don’t know if the bet part was Catherine leaning in to wish Alex a friendly “good luck” while he had a blade to his neck or the rest of the family calmly discussing elephants while Olivier dragged him back into the house to stuff him up the chimney like a bass-ackwards Santa Claus.

    As for the Ed and Greed buddy cops, Greed would obviously get the best of everything (he already owns it, after all.) Also, their signature ride must be the Bulltank from last week. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES. And they’d probably end up switching the Straight Man and Crazy Bastard roles every week, depending on whether the crook of the week calls Ed short or not. Dammit now I want someone to draw this.

    May, stop listening to assholes in glass jars. It’ll be for the better eventually, but people will be disliking you for a couple episodes and you kind of deserve it.

    • I salute thee for posting here!

      I agree with your modifications to the Ed/Greed Buddy Cop Movie/TV show/whatever it ends up being. You will get co-creator credit.

  5. fathomlessblue Says:

    Whether prides officially the strongest, sloths formidable (when he has to be) and envy is a giant f-ing dragon thing, i still would rather any of them than bump into wrath down a dark alley.

    i feel bad for may, shes not a bad character its just that there are far better. the youseff scene would have felt more effective if they included the cut material of may saving the miners from her manga introduction. this time everyones ott kindness at a random stranger seems kinda creepy. plus she has ace long distance alchemy which is barely ever given any screen time.

    speaking of screen time, fma’s (manga and animes) biggest crime is to give grumann so few scenes. he’s probably the funniest character this series has; even moreso than alex loius armstrong.

    ps. i can totally see armstrong as pedro screaming ‘Noooooooooooooooo’ or getting emotional, with his eyes ‘overflowing like waterfalls!’

    • There are so many random manga scenes cut that I cannot even remember them all. I only remember the somewhat major ones, or the ones that actually left an impression on me.

      • Speaking of which, I’ll forgive the vintage armor joke missing (begrudgingly) but if we miss out on Ed seeing Winry Underboob next week, I will be very disappointed.

  6. clinton Says:

    Envys a nasty bastard and i would want to run into in a dark alley the least unlike Wrath im sure he would kill me plus he can beat Wrath in fight (i would not be suprised if they fought when Bradley was going out with his wife he had no idea what to do and asked Lust and Envy for advice. bad idea Lust gave the advice and his wife thought he was a perv he then went to envy who perposly gave him horrible advice (the advice that got him slapped) and actully went to the restrant just to see Wrath mess up on his date)

    • fathomlessblue Says:

      you sound like you’ve given this alot of thought. you wouldn’t perhaps be considering going to the anime networks and trying to pitch the idea of an homunculi based ‘how i met your mother’ style series. because i demand my armstrong family sitcom first, xD

      • clinton Says:

        um no that actually happened the it was in the data book along with homunculi ages and other things the main thing was that i think Envy could beat wrath

        also thats 3 new anime ideas

        Greed and Ed (or Ed and Greed they would fight about that i know it) cops
        Armstong family sitcom
        Homuculi how i met your mother

    • Haha, I would love to see a series about the Homunculi trying to pass themselves off as normal people. Lust was able to do it, and Wrath is the leader of the country, but it doesn’t seem as if the others would do a great job. :p

  7. So if we made this into a buddy cop flick, who’s the old guy who’s ONE DAY FROM RETIREMENT?

    Also it sucks for Alex that he didn’t get to use alchemy to fight with his sis, I mean that surely would have changed things no?

    I wonder if Olivier could kick Scar’s ass, considering Alex was about even with him.

    • clinton Says:

      alchemy would not have helped she did not give him a chance to use it and she would have got past it and i don’t know about scar he did not do that well fighting Envy (of course who would he kicked Ling and Eds ass rather easily

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