Ookamikakushi – 11
Anyone who has any experience at all with the original visual novel — it can’t be this bad, right? Right?
I want to have a little bit of faith in Ryukishi07; I don’t want to believe he waited for some developer to CTC — that’s “cut the check”, in the parlance of Rasheed Wallace — and then dropped this wet turd of a scenario on all his fans. Because, Jesus, this episode seemingly concludes the story in just about the most thoroughly unsatisfying way possible. It’s mind boggling how utterly dumb it is.
Let’s role play a moment (pretend it’s erotic if you must): You’re Sakaki. These bastard ass wolves killed your fiance many moons ago (even though there is apparently just one red full moon in this town; just roll with it). You hate their friggin’ guts. You want revenge in the worst way, and you have a good while to think of it. After a good amount of planning and a successful infiltration of the village, you betray just about everyone in town and have them in the most vulnerable position possible — so what is your ultimate plan for vengeance? Why, press a button so that the dam floods the town and then run away so that the wolves can easily get into the control room and close the dam again, of course! And, uh, shoot a girl in the leg!
WTF, did Sakaki get Wolf Syphilis and go retarded from hanging out in this town too long? He got vengeance on a grand total of five people — killed Nemuru’s uncle and the boss man; shot another wolf and might have killed him; gravely wounded the guy in the control room; and shot Isuzu in the leg. Not sure that is a satisfactory result for a Villainous Rage of Vengeance, but then again, I have never needed to secure vengeance, so what do I know? Maybe Sakaki just needed to yell a lot. He feels all better now!
It has been long established that Hiro is a flaming moron, so nothing he does in this episode is at all surprising. In fact, it is absolutely hilarious how bland and nondescript Hiro is in this episode. Bland speech expressing regret at his “special luring scent” (Hiro’s words, not mine)? Check. (And what a speech it is! What a boring speech, I mean. Hiro is not going to lead city council meetings with that level of charisma.) Bland leap in front of the girls, complete with bland promise to protect them? Check. Bland flop to the ground as Sakaki tosses him to the ground like the bland little turd he is? Zzzzz … wait, I mean check.
Sakaki and Hiro must have gone to anime community college for their villain and hero lessons, because they’re so boringly textbook and stupid. It’s like one of those mad libs books, except if it were made by the IRS so that every drop of life would be sucked out of it. But, hey, in a crazy twist ending, Kaori — who looks like Sakaki’s dead fiance!!!!! — swoops in and saves the day by, uh, getting shot and awkwardly tumbling down a cliff with Sakaki into the water below. Um, I suppose that is one way to get things done. Thanks for clearing up exactly zero of the mysteries involved with you, by the way. I bet the five people who still actually give a shit about the story appreciated that extra kick in the nuts.
Mind you, this is at the two-thirds point of the episode. If any of you watched Mystery Science Theater 3000, remember the “Spring Fever” short when the dumpy guy accepts the holiness of springs, and it seems as if his problems are solved . . . except the short goes on another five minutes because this asshole can’t shut the fuck up about god damned springs for a few minutes? Well, that’s the final third of this episode. Man, after a town is almost flooded, and people are almost shot, it’s a relief to get to the real drama of calling people by their first names and eating giant parfait. At least Hiro is able to tie it all together with a moral about not being prejudiced against people who are different than you — even when they try to eat you, or kill you! Stop spreading the hate!
Did I mention there’s another episode after this one? Of course there is! It might wrap up the numerous hanging threads, and it may not, but does anyone really give two shits anymore? Personally, I’d like for the show to go in the complete opposite direction — make it a Kampfer-esque final episode filled with over-the-top fanservice and no redeeming value that will piss off anyone who expected a decent ending to the series. And by “fanservice” I mean Hiro should get his ass kicked for 24 minutes.