Shiki 15 – Vampire Cougar
It was only a matter of time before a vampire cougar showed up to run amok in a horror story, but I’m shocked Japan got to it before America. Isn’t that the perfect set-up to a trashy horror flick? Like people wouldn’t watch it, even if only out of morbid curiosity.
(That said, it probably has been done — given how sexual many vampire stories are, I can’t imagine that someone didn’t think of this idea at some time. It’s an impossibility, I say!)
Anyway, Ozaki seems fairly screwed at every corner — the vampire bureaucracy is just as insidious as its human version — but then Yuuki shows up back from the dead to give him a bit of hope. How did he get away from Tatsumi long enough to have a little chat with Ozaki, though? You’d think they would keep an iron grip on Yuuki, especially since he was one of the most outspoken threats to the vampires. Maybe becoming a vampire or whatever gave Yuuki Solid Snake powers, and he can go wherever he damn well pleases.
(That’s another idea — vampire secret agent. A lot of movie spies do their work under cover of darkness, anyway, so why not hire an indestructible vampire to do your dirty work and sway him or her with a Godfather offer? I think Hellsing proved that vampires are willing to play ball given the right situation.)
Moving on to the most inexplicable few minutes in Shiki so far . . . I’m not even sure what to think about it, though I did enjoy the casual dropping of Tatsumi being a werewolf. But, uh, what the hell is up with Shiki Willy Wonka over there? I kept thinking of that Whose Line Is It Anyway? skit with Robin Williams that imagines what it would be like if entertainers ran funerals. What a disaster. And it’s not as if Tatsumi had some sort of disdain for human rituals — he knows they need some sort of closure (useful to the vampires to throw them off the scent), and yet this clown is hired to run funerals wtf.
Probably the only good thing about hiring that guy is that nobody would demand a refund, because nobody in his or her right mind could stand to be in the same room with that idiot long enough to get the money back. I will say this, however: That was some fabulous confetti. Top notch.
(He also makes me think about whether certain vampires could have similarly pathetic lives to humans, except amplified because they live much longer. How long do you think that guy has been trying to become a legitimate entertainer? He’s doing his shtick during funerals because he is completely obnoxious, of course, but he’s also probably desperate enough to hope that someone will like what he or she sees and roll the dice with him, whereupon he becomes the big star he has always dreamed of being. But, no, as usual nobody cares, and it’s yet another year of hoping against hope that things will finally turn around for him. He’s probably lived 50 continuous years of The Joker’s backstory in The Killing Joke.)
One last thing: Satoko definitely gets the “You go, girl!” award this week for tearing down the Ozaki matriarch. lololol