12 (Naughty) Moments of Anime 2011 No. 9 – Setsuna Is a Sappy Bastard

The Gundam 00 movie is all about Setsuna F. Seiei trying to get laid. Stay with me here.

After the conclusion of the show’s second season, Setsuna is basically an Anime Jesus, one of several in the Gundam universe. His Gundam shits out rainbows and whatnot — that is essentially Jesus territory. And as Anime Jesus, Setsuna’s mission in life is to proliferate peace throughout the galaxy by means of blowing shit the fuck up.

You know, just like Jesus.

Anyway, also like Jesus, Setsuna can’t get his groove on with his main squeeze because everyone is all, “Nuh uh”. But Setsuna totes wants to tap that, even though his only emotion is “:|”, and so he works harder than ever before to forge peace in the universe so that all those player haters will get the fuck off his back.

Everything culminates in the final battle where tons of characters die anticlimactically and the space cancer crystals from Guilty Crown are understood to be nice and peaceful, and Setsuna makes an offering of a space flower. However! This space flower is not an olive branch to the aliens! In fact, this space flower is meant specifically for Setsuna’s honey bunch, Marina Ismail.

“Hey, baby,” Setsuna is saying. “I’m totally done with this peace-bringing business, so let’s you and me have a few drinks and listen to some Space Barry White.”

Tragically, though, Setsuna undergoes a transformation that 1) Makes him entirely silver, and 2) Leaves him anatomically similar to a Ken doll. Also, the next time he sees Marina she is really old and blind.

Such a tragedy.

18 Responses to “12 (Naughty) Moments of Anime 2011 No. 9 – Setsuna Is a Sappy Bastard”

  1. Mr. Bushidoooooooooooo

  2. This is the trick: you lure the ladies in with the Space Barry White, then you switch it up mid-way and put on the Space DMX!

  3. Giant space flower of understanding!!

    Gahhh this movie I remember watching on Skype and just making all these random comments during, but that was really fun doing that and listening to Ghost lolol

    Also Metal Setsuna!

  4. Fuck this film, and fuck you for reminding me of it.

  5. This should be in the ‘nice’ section! Comedy of the year!

  6. Aww, if you were going to post about one giant killer space flower from the year, I hoped it would be from Rebirth of Buddha.

  7. TheVoid Says:

    Nonsense.

    Setsuna views Marina as a mother figure. She even looks and has the same voice as his mother.

    He lost his virginity to Gundam and the ELS when they arrived at the ELS homeworld. That’s why he’s part metal at the end.

  8. This is the funniest review I’ve ever read about the m00vie ending. I agree though. How tragic.

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