GUESS THE DUMB Week 5
A rare decision to be semi-classy from the owner of this blog.
I have a theory about Evil Inori: She is the Enemy of Moe. When Inori goes all evil and crazy and whatnot, she engages in acts of ultraviolence, and this episode shows evidence that Evil Inori will also — GASP! — engage in acts of a sexual nature! (It is unclear if she does it with everyone, though, or if It’s OK Because It’s With You,
Onii-chan Shoe.) This is all stuff that girls do in those explody cartoons those old-timers love, while Regular Inori is all soft-spoken and demure, and she also sings and stuff like those newfangled moe lovin’ kids enjoy.
So, basically, Guilty Crown is about the struggle between old folks and those gosh darned kids who won’t get off their lawns.
Anyway! This episode is all over the place, but it made me laugh several times, so it’s OK with me. Let’s get to the dumb!
1. Void Laser! Ah, one of my favorite anime standbys: Whipping out new powers out of nowhere. Shoe may be able to plot Voids out of nowhere, but Gai immediately proves why he is superior by plot warping the Power of the King. Take that!
2. Gai is the Void MacGyver. Two new powers in the span of a few seconds! Gai truly is the King. I wonder if he can reshape Voids into whatever the hell he wants, and stealing Voids is just his way of getting material for them. Or maybe there are specific Voids that combine into rockets or what the hell ever. Either way, this is ridiculous and hilarious. Also, I love that the three students die after the rocket explodes. Such a mean-spirited touch.
3. “Gai, you made me hate my daddy!” Wait, didn’t Daryl get all pissy at his dad because he wanted to bone his hot assistant instead of acknowledging Daryl’s birthday? What did Gai have to do with that?? It’s not as if Daryl has no reason to hate Gai — Gai’s the leader of the organization that made Daryl look stupid, and thus everyone thinks he’s lame. There you go. Why the flashback to the father??
4. Secret organization! “Hey, y’all, we’re going to introduce this secret organization whose name is a religious reference we saw somewhere one time — we know how much you love those! — and which is older than the Freemasons and the Zionists! Wait, where are you going?!”
5. It’s all for Shoe! Sure he lost his arm and a ton of blood and probably should have died of shock or something, but he’s no longer burdened by the Power of the King! So that’s something.
6. Hi, Arisa, I’m dead now! So, hey, this guy was semi-important before the world got fucked. Let’s reintroduce him and then kill him off a couple of minutes later. Guilty Crooooooooooooooown! *shakes fist*
7. “Hold on, I think I see a speck of dust down there!” You can keep the Shoe out of the sister, but you can’t keep the sister out of the Shoe, amirite, fellas?
8. Inori is totes tappin’ that. You’re not a main character if you can’t whip powers out of nowhere!
9. Inori is one of the X-Men. I like Inori’s crazy ’80s hair. Someone should dub this scene over with bad synthpop, a smoke machine and bushy-banged rock men mumbling and waddling back and forth.
10. Bondage arrow! “I prepared this from a mixture of a Rope Void, a Sharpened Rock Void and a DVD Copy of Eyes Wide Shut Void. Do you like it?”
Whew! That was almost too much for me. You have a treasure trove of stupid to choose from this week, everyone. Have at it!
And now for past poll results! This just in: Guilty Crown viewers don’t like rape that much. A very controversial stance. This week Guilty Crown‘s creepy rape obsession takes on the two-week Champion of Dumb: Team F! Although Gai’s abs nearly made a valiant comeback, Team F storming the hospital is still the champ. Will the team continue its run this week?!