Bitchin’ Space Pirates 22 – Dropping in from G Gundam
Oh, this fucking pirate.
I’m of two minds about this goofball: First, I think the conflict at the end of the episode is actually legit dangerous, even though we have a total “Boy Who Cried Wolf” situation going on with this series. I refuse to believe this situation will resolve itself in any way other than anticlimactically. It doesn’t matter how big and impressive this pirate hunter ship looks while slaughtering pirates. (Possibly for the government? I do agree this is strongly hinted at throughout the episode.) But at least for now there’s some excitement going on, which has been true for basically every storyline so far in the series. It’s kind of like Index in that the arcs start out cool and then fizzle out at the end, except there’s no Touma constantly opening his fat fucking craw here.
So right now there’s a set-up that can be taken slightly seriously as far as entertainment goes, but then this guy shows up and . . . well, I don’t want to judge too quickly, because maybe he’ll be awesome, but seriously that is a goofy-costumed pirate hanging out on the hull of his ship in deep space with no way to breathe. I don’t even. To be fair to this dude, however, it’s not as if he’s totally out of place. After all, one of Marika’s crewmates is a hulking cyborg, and another is a psychic or whatever. We have long since established that this world is populated by goofy bastards. Adding one more dork to the mix isn’t too terrible. Plus, I get a sort of Tiger vibe from him (in terms of looks), and as we all know, Tiger is the best character in Tiger and Bunny. Anything to get some positivity from this.
But as we all know, I love dumb, goofy shit, so a space breathing superhero pirate riding the hull of his ship is just what the doctor ordered. Everything I wrote above matters only if you still somehow take the plot seriously . . . and I don’t, really. Would it be nice to have a legitimately dramatic plot to end the series? Of course. Do I expect one? No. So why not turn the silliness knob all the way up? It’s not as if this show hasn’t been ridiculous the whole way through. When the pirating was revealed to be fancy insurance fraud, then all bets were off. Pirating is silly business; it would have to be, if only so that a teenage girl could be a legitimate captain.
Go ahead and be a total goof, new pirate captain. In fact, be goofier. You know how NHL goalies paint stuff on their masks to make them more intimidating? Totally what this dude should do. The all gray mask is a bit bland for my taste, although I enjoy that it has openings for his hair. But, yeah, paint it up! Make it scarier! Stand out, man! He can’t have a flamboyant outfit like the one he’s wearing and not do something with the mask! The mask is the first item people notice. Why not make it more memorable? Gotta have some style before you draw people in with the substance.
But there is one thing . . . I think that’s a horn on the forehead area of the mask? Maybe he’s going for a rhinoceros look. That could work, but even though the Rhino from Spider-Man is super strong and tough, that rhino costume doesn’t exactly make him intimidating, yeah? It’s the strength that makes him scary rather than the look. Tread carefully with animal-themed clothing, amigo.