I Have Run Out of Ways to Call Deadman Wonderland Stupid, So Here’s the Worst Anime Ever

I never would have guessed that it would take but a month to find something worthy of a 1.

Odin: Photon Space Sailer Starlight (the movie’s typo, not mine) is not disgusting like Apocalypse Zero, irritating like Itsudatte My Santa! nor brain rottingly retarded like Shuffle! However, the experience of watching it is like being in a boxing match: You come into it full of energy and life, ready to throw down, but by the end, you’re struggling to stay on your feet, and there’s a good chance the repeated blows to the head will give you brain damage. Odin is a black hole of entertainment: 136 minutes of absolutely fuck all happening, pacing that makes Inuyasha seem like Baccano! and several scenes of inexplicable weirdness. What makes Odin the worst anime I’ve ever seen is that there isn’t one element you can pin down and say, “This is why this piece of shit is so awful.” It’s the totality of the experience that builds throughout the movie and mercilessly beats down the viewer until nothing is left but a babbling, incoherent mess.

I wish I could say what Odin is about, but I am not really sure. Odin itself is some sort of magical paradise world, or some shit like that, and a bunch of star sailors aboard the Starlight (which is a literal ship in space and operates via convoluted laser beams) find a girl aboard a wrecked spaceship who of course has some connection to Odin. And then they spend two hours tuning up their shit, running around while metal plays and lights flash in the background, and springing a mutiny because why old people gotta be harshin’ our buzz, know what I’m sayin’? This does not stop the young crew from running back to the veteran sailors crying later on when they’re getting their asses handed to them by ancient Norse spaceships. (?!?!)

But Odin is about the search for the titular land like Evangelion is about robot battles. Why waste time searching for undiscovered worlds when you can spend a five minute sequence on the sailors testing their gravity drive? Why show action of any kind when instead it’s clearly a better idea to have everyone run from one end of the ship to the other with the urgency of a race to the hospital, only to have everyone suddenly halt, calmly sit in their seats and start pushing buttons? (Is this how they report to duty every day? I guess you have to get your kicks in space somehow.) The pacing and plotting are so shot that everyone in the terribad anime group who watched this thought it was a distinct possibility that the movie would show the ship’s fine tuning in real time, and that would be the entire movie.

This is perhaps the most iconic (if you can call it that) scene in Odin: Sara, the lone survivor of the space shipwreck, has some sort of psychic connection with ancient runes or what the fuck ever, and the mental anguish is so much that she clutches her head and bellows, “ODEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN” I would say that text does not do this moment justice and encourage you all to hear this moment for yourself, but that would entail actually watching Odin, so fuck that. Listen to the aWo podcast episode about Odin instead.

Anyway, blah blah blah, the sailors fly to somewhere outside Odin and end up getting cockblocked by Space Asgard, who is against letting dirty fucking humans into this beautiful paradise. But instead of having godlike powers with which to blow up everything, they have starships and a giant computer that apparently has a self-destruct button (which the crew sets off by destroying the computer with a bomb one of the characters throws together that randomly has spikes all over it). Seriously, what the fuck. It ends up with everyone no closer to Odin than they were in the beginning, but the audience much closer to suicide than they were in the beginning.

The movie inexplicably ends with this music video playing over the credits sequence, which is undoubtedly the best part of the picture. An ’80s hair metal band with their fog machine in overdrive? Fuck. Yes.

The crazy thing about Odin is that it is a rather beautiful movie; it’s certainly by far the best animated anything we have watched (or will ever watch, I bet) in terribad. The human animation is fluid, the battles are solid, there are tons of little character touches that are interesting to watch . . . but, fuck me, it’s all wasted on NOTHING HAPPENING. Never has such a black hole of awfulness been so lovingly crafted. That’s the cruelest part of Odin: A common refrain in the group was that nobody expected the movie to be that bad. It starts off horribly with an irrelevant prologue about how humanity is all about exploration and whatnot, but the animation offers a glimmer of hope that maybe — just maybe — there is some shred of craft put into the movie. But, no, only the art received that craft. If you let your guard down, Odin will take you and buttfuck you into utter boredom.

Fuck Odin. God damn this movie.

18 Responses to “I Have Run Out of Ways to Call Deadman Wonderland Stupid, So Here’s the Worst Anime Ever”

  1. “Sailer” is not actually a typo, even though it certainly looks like one. The term “sailer” is a not-so-common term that is used to refer to a seafaring vessel itself. A “sailor” would be a person on the crew of said vessel. As the title is referring to the Starlight, which is a space…schooner…which travels using photon energy, it is therefore accurate to refer to it as “Photon Space Sailer Starlight.”

    (PS: Apocalypse Zero is the work of an inspired genius and I’m dismayed that the manga was never translated into English entirely)

  2. I had faith that Terribad would find you that 1 eventually.

  3. What’s great about Odin’s terribleness is that it can also be admire as an even bigger failure if the the viewer is aware of the producers past work, Space Battleship Yamato, and how hard he was trying to recreate that classic.

    One watches all the Yamato series and the movies, and you are reward with Odin MY LOVE

    • Yes, there is just too much to Odin’s awfulness for me to go into, so I didn’t bring up Yoshinobu Nishizaki and the various ways in which he attempts to recreate Space Battleship Yamato with Odin and fails miserably. (Any writing I could do on that would be secondhand, anyway, since I have not seen Yamato, although it is in the queue!)

  4. Man, are you saying this just so that we are forced to watch it?

  5. Mad Chemist Says:

    Oh man, Odin. It’s a tie between this and Crystal Triangle as to my favorite horribad anime, though this movie makes up in Loudness to a degree what CT has in absolute batshit insanity. There’s just something fascinating about Odin’s badness and the fact that it does literally everything wrong but visuals that actually hating this film makes me feel like I’m kicking a puppy. A really ugly, obnoxious puppy, granted, but a puppy nonetheless.

  6. Crystal Triangle is one of those classic examples of terribad anime that I still need to see. I don’t think I ever even looked up what it is about, actually …

  7. Son Gohan Says:

    I haven’t watched Odin but my pick for worst animated movie ever is “Ai City”. I dare you to watch that one.
    About DW, I dropped the series after episode 9 despite being a huge fan of the manga. Definitely one of the worst adaptations ever. 😦

  8. I have to thank the terribad group, because I really never could have made it through this epic boredom by myself. With a couple days of reflection, it boggles my mind even more just how good-looking Odin was. There was some recycled animation, but overall just a lovely looking movie with solid mechanical design (at least in the details; zoom out and it’s a fucking sailboat).

    Sad that the sequels never got made, we’ll never know if the crew found O’Dean’s Irish Pub…

  9. fathomlessblue Says:

    This was what I was about with The Soultaker in your other post, a show that defies words and sucks the life out of you as you watch.

    Still, I’m glad I can finally put a name to name to that last screenshot, the scene was used in a truly surreal advert at the beginning of manga vhs tapes in the 90’s. Complete mindf**k!

    So, no plans on dropping off the anime scene now you’ve found that ever elusive 1 then?

    • Haha, that’s pretty wild! They’ve even got the ODEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN scene in there!

      And, nope, my love of anime is too strong for a 1 to destroy it, apparently.

  10. I am still in awe at how something so well animated turned out to be such a steaming pile of crap! I shall forever remember Odin for:
    ODEEEEEEEEN!! Real time sailing, high energy running fueled by rock music, and “is this over yet!??”

    Thank god for the Terribad group!

  11. Ninja Resurrection is another movie that, in spite of being gorgeously animated, is the worst anime I’ve ever seen. (I think Odin is probably worse than it, though).

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