Sister Princess Saturday Report! No. 10: Swimming Lessons
(Skip to 4:30 in the video.)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HA
HA
HA
. . . Oh, oh my, that was so wonderful. I am glad the Sisters had the foresight to record this on video. Wataru’s unique brand of failure is so clear when one can see it in motion. I’m not quite sure where the music came from, but it adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the scene, wouldn’t you say?
I am not even certain what the point of this particular entry was; I lost all capability for rational thought upon witnessing that . . . special scene. Ah, yes, swimming lessons. That’s it.
So. Swimming lessons. I remain uncertain as to why Mamoru decided to teach Wataru how to swim. Perhaps she somehow grew to care about the little idiot (how in God’s name this would ever happen, I have no clue), or maybe she took pity on him. Or, perhaps, it was part of some grand plan to–
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
. . . Oh dear, I apologize. I could not help it. Why waste time speculating on something that ultimately does not matter when I have something that can bring so much joy to so many people around the world? Oh, it amuses me so. With his spindly chicken legs and bulbous alien goggles, Wataru looks like a starving animal desperately trying to save a meal that’s floating downstream toward a waterfall. Except the animal hasn’t gone through puberty yet.
Did you get a look at his doggie paddle? Have you seen anything more pathetic in your life? He could have had a mug for begging money in one hand while he swam, and he would have been a less mournful sight. And afterward the Sisters congratulate him for managing not to drown himself. He’s such an awful waste of life that a group of girls who are actively conspiring to murder him actually took pity on his self-esteem and tried to abate his self-loathing for a minute or two.
There really is nothing more to say — this is likely the most useless, dull event Wataru has detailed yet — so watch this one more time.
UNMEI KAIHEN 
10/08/2011 at 8:55 am
You inspired me to watch thirty seconds of this drivel. I don’t know how you manage to do it every week. You must either have some amazing willpower and discipline or be a masochist.
But that dog paddle redefines the word pathetic…
10/08/2011 at 9:14 am
Clearly I am a god among mortals.
10/08/2011 at 9:53 am
Why do you subject yourself to this torture? Is it because by the end of this series you would have transcended human boundaries and become a god? If so, I have so much respect for you right now.
10/08/2011 at 1:50 pm
I do it because I have to challenge kadian1364 to become the true King of Terribad.
10/08/2011 at 5:34 pm
As you are now, you are no match. But I see in you the potential to someday give me a truly awesome battle. I will remain undefeated and wait for the day you rise the ranks of Terribad and challenge me head on.
10/08/2011 at 1:40 pm
AHAHAHAHA… that growl as he’s charging toward the water… whoever made this show was clearly a sadist, and I am in awe of your staying power. Keep fighting the good fight.
10/08/2011 at 1:51 pm
What really sells it for me is the bad synth music coupled with the awful running animation. Genius. Pure genius.
10/09/2011 at 4:05 am
Are you trying to kill me?! I can’t stop laughing </3
10/09/2011 at 8:12 pm
If so, then yes, I am trying to murder all my readers.
10/09/2011 at 8:06 pm
Holy fuck, what is wrong with the purple-haired girl’s voice? Shit, how anyone understands her or avoids going mad and slamming an axe into her face is beyond me.
10/09/2011 at 8:14 pm
Guessing you’re referring to Haruka, since Aria is just a slowtard. Haruka is supposed to be German or some shit, and she’s also a massive weeaboo. That’s also Tiffany Grant doing that horrid accent. Poor Tiffany.
10/10/2011 at 7:23 pm
The one who was in the pool, whoever that was.
I’m still not sure I understand why you are subjecting yourself to this, by the way.
10/10/2011 at 7:31 pm
It is a holy journey that mere mortals may never understand.
10/11/2011 at 8:10 pm
*watched dragonaut* *watched kagihime*
10/12/2011 at 9:23 pm
This animation quality is so derptastic 😦
But I’d be more scared if it /wasn’t/, because that’d mean people actually /want/ to see this. I agree, the music just made the moment.
I think you can embed youtube videos at a certain point by affixing the #t=4m30s tag to the thing, but I’m not sure, because I come up with better pictures than lame youtube videos.
P.S. Did you seriously laugh at Wataru? YOU’RE GETTING SUCKED INTO THE SHOW’S HUMOUR, DON’T DO IT
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TRANSCEND HUMANITY
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BECOME INSANE
10/13/2011 at 12:16 am
I actually did enter the URL linking to 4:30 in the video, but it didn’t work here for whatever reason. When I linked the video on Twitter, it worked just fine. Not really sure what’s up with that. Maybe WordPress is just as derpy as Sister Princess’ animation.
Also, I laughed AT Wataru, and not WITH him! This episode is funny solely because it is so utterly awful. It sure as hell isn’t because of anything it does purposefully.
10/13/2011 at 10:42 am
I completely lost my shit when she yelled “YOU DID IT!!!”
10/13/2011 at 5:18 pm
[…] is sufficiently intense, music /doesn’t work/: for example, the scene in the first video in this post at 4:30. Shit’s intense, yo, but the music made it all horrible. Also /that/ water animation […]