The Super Mario Bros. video games have not — and never will be — known for their stories. (With the exception, of course, of the various Mario RPGs, and even those are better comedies than they are fulfilling narratives.) They’re basic stuff: Bowser has come to fuck shit up (and has probably kidnapped Princess Peach somewhere along the way), and it’s up to Mario to set things right. Not exactly an intricate tale right there.
But that, however, did not stop an hour-long Super Mario Bros. anime feature from being made in 1986, when the game was exploding in popularity. That alone should probably clue you in to the quality of this movie, but if we ended things there, then what the hell would be the point of this post? So follow me in this way back journey to a shameless (and possibly drug-fueled) cash grab of a movie!