Ranking the Terribad

The almighty symbol of terribad.

For at least the next two days, I’ll be caught up with everything the SCCSAV terribad watch group has completed. (They’ve seen scattered episodes of Musashi Gundoh and Reign: The Conqueror, but as of this writing, they’re not finished with either.) Now that I’ve completed this utterly useless task, I figured why not put my newfound knowledge of awful anime to good use?

So here I present a (highly biased) guide to terribad — from the ones I enjoy most to the ones I enjoy least, because that is obviously how such a list should progress. Enjoy!

(P.S. There are multiple pages to this for you folks on Google Reader. Haha, you have to come here to finish the post!)

Kenya Boy – A Cinematic Masterpiece of WTF

And so begins the odyssey of WTF that is Kenya Boy . . .

I wish I had the time to give this movie the exhaustive treatment it deserves, but unfortunately, it is not to be. However, I will take the time to outline some of my favorite aspects of this amazingly bizarre movie, while leaving a few secrets for you fine viewers to discover should you take the time to watch it. And you should! This is one fucking crazy ass movie.

First, though, the basic story of Kenya Boy is that this kid, Wataru, and his family are in Africa just before the Japanese officially enter World War II. Wataru and his father go into hiding because the British will be like, “WE MUST KILL ALL ORIENTALS” and somewhere along the way, Wataru and his father become separated. The movie is about Wataru’s search for his father over the course of several years . . . along with all sorts of other craziness.

(P.S. There’s a second page for all you lazy fucks who don’t actually go to blogs themselves to read posts.)

Super Mario Bros.: Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach – Seriously, WTF

The Super Mario Bros. video games have not — and never will be — known for their stories. (With the exception, of course, of the various Mario RPGs, and even those are better comedies than they are fulfilling narratives.) They’re basic stuff: Bowser has come to fuck shit up (and has probably kidnapped Princess Peach somewhere along the way), and it’s up to Mario to set things right. Not exactly an intricate tale right there.

But that, however, did not stop an hour-long Super Mario Bros. anime feature from being made in 1986, when the game was exploding in popularity. That alone should probably clue you in to the quality of this movie, but if we ended things there, then what the hell would be the point of this post? So follow me in this way back journey to a shameless (and possibly drug-fueled) cash grab of a movie!

(And if you’re somehow curious enough to watch this — along with another bizarre trio of Super Mario Bros. stories — the fansub group m.3.3.w released them all in one convenient pack.)