12 (Naughty) Days of Anime 2011 No. 8 – Black Holes

You know, I could be flippant and say that all the censorship in Deadman Wonderland is a result of Manglobe being so ashamed at what it produced that they tried to hide it as much as possible.

Or I could be so sarcastic as to suggest that the anime was so cheaply produced that there actually wasn’t anything animated behind the censorship blobs at all, and that the mere hint of ultraviolent content gave Manglobe the impetus to save money by pretending to be edgy.

Or I could mockingly take the tone of one of the head honchos on the show and try to spin some bullshit about how the black censorship holes are created by some super-secret weapon hidden in the depths of Deadman Wonderland, and that our intrepid heroes found it because they are so good at seeking adventure. How grand would that be?

Anyway, Deadman Wonderland is an awful, awful show.

Deadman Wonderland 12 – This Episode Was Kind of Good Until It Sucked (END)

Nagi doing what pretty much everyone watching the show wants to do . . .

Before I comment on that, however, I just want to tip my hat to Anime Expo for another fun year! I’ll be writing about my personal experiences this year at some undetermined date (hopefully sooner rather than later, but it all depends on how busy I end up being), and I’ll be contributing to the super groovy coverage of AX we’ll be doing at Behind the Nihon Review, so look forward to that, everyone! Some of my AX shenanigans gave me ideas for an upcoming posting series, so look forward to that in a couple of weeks or so, as well!

Also want to give a shout out to all the awesome people I ran into during AX: My roomies, calaggie, Kylaran, Mystlord, and ToastCrust (along with his friend, Darren). All super cool people who made my Anime Expo experience OVER 9000 times better, especially late at night when I was dog tired and everyone was just shooting the shit. Also have to mention my cohort at the Nihon Review, Eternal, and good ol’ zzeroparticle, who would have cleaned up at Name That Anime Tune if we had arrived just a few minutes earlier. The Anime Diet dudes — Mike, Rome, Jeremy and Dan — need a shout, as well, since I saw so much of them this year! Was definitely glad to hang out with them for more than a few minutes.

Then I also need to mention all the awesome people I saw at the various meet-ups and during random meetings throughout the convention center (I can’t count the number of times I bumped into various people I knew): lvlln and Nameless (the latter of whom goes by CPAnime on Twitter), omo, cowboybibimbop, misaki, Yumeka, Jan Suzukawa, Manma Canon, kevo (you have to write that post we talked about, man!), anya_fennec, R1CK_D0M, and if I forgot anyone else, yell at me for being an idiot. The mind is the first thing to go, they say …

I Have Run Out of Ways to Call Deadman Wonderland Stupid, So Here’s the Worst Anime Ever

I never would have guessed that it would take but a month to find something worthy of a 1.

Odin: Photon Space Sailer Starlight (the movie’s typo, not mine) is not disgusting like Apocalypse Zero, irritating like Itsudatte My Santa! nor brain rottingly retarded like Shuffle! However, the experience of watching it is like being in a boxing match: You come into it full of energy and life, ready to throw down, but by the end, you’re struggling to stay on your feet, and there’s a good chance the repeated blows to the head will give you brain damage. Odin is a black hole of entertainment: 136 minutes of absolutely fuck all happening, pacing that makes Inuyasha seem like Baccano! and several scenes of inexplicable weirdness. What makes Odin the worst anime I’ve ever seen is that there isn’t one element you can pin down and say, “This is why this piece of shit is so awful.” It’s the totality of the experience that builds throughout the movie and mercilessly beats down the viewer until nothing is left but a babbling, incoherent mess.

Deadman Wonderland 10 — It’s Fun to Fill Time with Needless Explanations

What’s the point of creating elaborate backstories for your Undertakers when they are just going to be killed in less than a minute? I swear the bear dude and Buffalo Bill the skin-wearer existed solely so that the anime could fill up a couple of minutes time with silly biographies, and thus save some money on the animation budget. It’s kind of cool when Senji shows up and slices them up, but it’s not much of a payoff for sitting through ludicrous, derivative stories.

Speaking of Senji, he is basically conveniently awesome, right? How the hell did Ganta ever beat him when he has skills like the ones he shows off here? It’s like in RPGs when you fight a boss character and they’re tough as hell, but they join your team later, and suddenly they kind of suck and don’t have all their awesome abilities anymore. Except here, Senji sucks only when he fights Ganta, and he’s awesome everywhere else. Facepalm.

Deadman Wonderland 9 — One Decent Plot Point In a Sea of Poop

Credit where it’s due: I somehow thought of everything but the data chip being a booby trap, and it is a real “Duh!” moment for me when the chip explodes after Shiro throws it into the fire. Of course it would be a trap, right? The Obviously Evil dude made it. An actual bit of logic employed by Deadman Wonderland. Shocked me as much as anyone.

But that’s the one plot that makes sense and/or isn’t unbelievably silly. Take, for instance, when Hibana initially shows up and Nagi assumes that she is lost . . . in the deepest, most secret wing of a maximum security prison that is known for housing total psychos with crazy powers. Now, he doesn’t have to be all like, “DIE BITCH DIE!!!!!!!!!!” right away, but at least a little suspicion would be warranted, don’t you think? She isn’t even wearing a collar, so she can’t pretend to be a prisoner, or anything, which makes it more unlikely that she would be wandering around for no reason. Shit, just being suspicious that someone might be after her (even if it’s wrong) or that she’s different in some way (due to the lack of collar) would be better than what happens. It’s not even really that bad a plot point; it’s just that “Are you lost?” is such a goofy assumption to make, given the circumstances.

Deadman Wonderland 8 – That Guy Wasn’t a Really Obvious Villain or Anything

If you haven’t listened in yet, my appearance on the Metaverse podcast went up a couple of days ago. Some general goofiness, a few anime recommendations, fun for the whole family.

Anyway, this latest episode is basically your average episode of Deadman Wonderland, meaning of course that it is goofy as fuck.  It should be pretty exciting, since we have a group of prisoners aiming to bring down the prison through somewhat legal means, and some intrigue because that guy who is shady as fuck from the start is shockingly some sort of double agent, but it kind of falls apart because, really, who gives a shit about Ganta? That’s the biggest problem with making such a loser kid the protagonist — who would get behind such a whiner? That would be like making me the protagonist of this shit. It just wouldn’t work.

Deadman Wonderland 7 -WOW WHAT A TWIST WOWZERS

A couple of quick notes so that I don’t toss out spoilers before the break that people might stumble upon and get pissed about if they are not caught up on Deadman Wonderland‘s story and somehow still care about the plot:

I recorded a podcast with the Metanorn folks a couple of days ago. Not totally sure when it will be released, but I’ll be sure to give them a shout on here when it is. It was definitely a fun experience!

Also, as it pertains to Deadman Wonderland, I called bullshit on the line above at first, but just to be sure, I did some quick research — apparently, it is possible to live without a stomach, except of course one’s diet is drastically altered (since a major step in digestion is skipped). Now, I’m not as certain that lacking a stomach and a kidney would put Minatsuki in the best position to exert as much energy as she does fighting, but hey, I guess all the show would need to do is hand wave it with some bullshit about the Deadman powers changing a human’s biological make-up or whatever. Wouldn’t be the first time anime character had sketchy biology, anyway.

Deadman Wonderland 6 – Whipping from Dropped to Continuing In Seconds Flat

Ah, I always enjoy a good ol’ goofy, distorted facial expression . . .

A couple of days ago I posted about my philosophy in regards to grading bad series, and about how I try to find even a sliver of enjoyment in even really bad series I end up watching for whatever reason. Deadman Wonderland is one of those shows. The first episode had some promise even though the initial setup is contrived, but from then on it has become increasingly goofy and hilariously grimdark. There’s a certain desperation to how dark and edgy the show wants to be, which has provided ceaseless amusement for me.

Deadman Wonderland 5 – So Grimdark It Hurts

You know, from all the laughing and such. The censoring makes it better, actually; maybe one of the few times I’ve genuinely enjoyed censorship. Look at that black blob Shiro is holding — so hardcore, man!

But, yeah, I enjoyed this episode, albeit for the wrong reasons. It has all these grimdark elements but executed in goofy ways like the slot machine that chooses which body part gets hacked off the loser of the death match. (Really, Crow should be glad he hit the jackpot and all three slots showed the same part. Just imagine if it were “right arm”, “left leg” and “ripped penis” (to use the promoter’s TMI description).) Now, I’d assume that the overly grimdark stuff is wholly intentional gallows humor if there weren’t other things that you’re supposed to react to like, “Oh man, that’s crazy!” or “Oh man, that’s so horrible!” that make me laugh just as much.

The Latest Deadman Wonderland Sucked, So Have a Happy Mother’s Day Instead

Urge to write about Deadman Wonderland . . . falling . . .

Anyway, have a happy Mother’s Day, folks. Don’t know if any moms read this rinky dink site, but if you do, hopefully your kids treat you well today. Everyone else, give mom some extra attention today, unless she’s a terrible mother or you hate her or something.

There are lots of great moms in anime, but my favorite mother figure is the Major from Ghost in the Shell. Like any mom worth her salt, she looks after her kids (in this case the folks in Section 9) with a steely eye, and if anyone threatens them, she protects them with a ferocity unmatched by anyone. And she helps build the best possible environment for her young’uns to kick as much ass as possible, with the Major at the frontlines. Section 9 is a family, and the Major is the matriarch who leads by example, much as any mother should. If the Major has your back, you’re going to turn out all right.